I hate YOU!!!

Why why why? I don't want the memories anymore!!! Can anyone make me drunk? OMG!!! I'm having a terrible time!!!I HATE you, Mr Pang Jeng Min!!! Why you give me so much of the memories that I don't deserve it?? Now, I'm straggling so hard to get myself out.


My 2 years was not easy though, I tough I could do it. Only now, I realize I didn't do it in a clean and clear way. All the feeling came back without my control. I have no appetite to eat, cannot concentrate in my work, cannot focus well, cannot sleep etc. And, I wonder why I cannot drop my tears anymore? Did I finish my tears during the 2 years? aaaahhhhhh!!!!! Release ME!!!


I think I'm now feeling what he felt for the last 2 years. Now, I understand what my friends was explaining to me..."feng shui lun leow juan".


Anyhow, I have to get my own way out as what he did in the pass. I cannot be that selfish and greedy anymore. Its me who make the choice. GAMBETTE HENG JIA LIAN!!!

Why I have hard feelings?

wow...it being along time since I have my attachment, too busy to even login.
Now, having trouble, so seek space to express myself. ^.^

Start to realize that I'm a normal girl as well.

Last few days, I knew that my ex have a girlfriend already. At first I felt so happy for him, because I will not be the one anymore. I'm release!! However, bad feeling start developing before I go to bed. I don't know why. ...still love him or I'm being too greedy? I'm the one who is too selfish to bring myself back. And now.... Aiyo!!! I'm getting really mad!!!

Just after the break-up, I pray so hard for him to get his love one as soon as possible because I don't deserve all the things that he do for me. While, hope that in future he will be happier. But, now... OMG!! I don't know what should I do.

Anyway, I will continue praying for him and wish him all the best. Hope that he have the best of the best forever. ^^

Pass or Credit hours?

Passing the exam or the collection of credit hours for legal attachment, which one is important? Now, it confuse me. Everyone was telling me you have acheive 72 credit hour, only need to pass one of the subject to go for attachment. Is that the theory of being a student?

All exams, I try my best to attempt the question.
All exams, I try to finish all question in time.
All exams, I try to take care of my health and not to skip the exam.

This hardwork had follow me for 14 year of my 'student' days. And now, friends tell me. Never mind, you can definitely go for your attachment. ....how should I react? I really don't know...
Seriously, its not the matter of credit hour. ..is the matter of passing the exams and passing with the result that I would like to obtain. I'm don't need a good result as I know I'm not qualified to hope more. Just a little more than passing the exam, is not to much I think??!!

But, everyone seems wanting me to fail my exams. ....what should I do? I did everything to scure my result. I'm not the one who study last minute, easily forget about books, don't attend class, etc. This is all because of ambition. Hope to be a succesful person in future.

Last few days, I saw some posting on facebook. My friend was dissapointed of his exam and one of his friend was commenting state that 'you sure pass...don't worry'. ...is that the words that he would like to have? I think no...he would like to have flying colour and not just a pass.

Another terrible thing...really ridiculous. My friend was worry about her land law, keep asking me whether she will pass the exam or not. Actually, her result was double of mine. Me, is the one who shoud be worried and not her. Crying for nights had cool me down and side everything aside to comtinue burn mid-night oil STUDY!!! She broke my mood. Aiyo....I was trying soooo hard and.... Walao!!! Geram betul!!!

Anyway, JL is not that easily be influence. She will always keep her prinple on hand.
Gambette!!!!

Terrible & Horrible week

Bad mode blog again :P Don't know why being so emotional for this few years? Did I change? Then, it would be a non-benefit changes. I want to be a happy-go-lucky Jia Lian again. I try to identified when did I change and the cause of it. ....I get no answer.

....the breaking-up with ex-boyfriend?
....the pressure of being squash club president?
....stress in Gamma subjects??
....the pressure of being aikido club president?
....stress in Delta subjects?
....environment...no idea of that.

Since no solution can be made, I have to always stand up strong to defend it. My 'white cell' is getting weaker and weaker now. No control over it. Knowing that, one day, I will get mad of myself. :(

The week had started badly as one of my course mate called. He instructed this and that. ...really tak 'syok' ok.!!! Its 8am, if that call would came from mum, then 'bigger' eyes will blink during lecture. Failing to say NO, been bullied. 'breathless'...
Neither class nor home happiness raise. I really don't know where I should go. Home was so noisy, dirty sinki, dirty toilet, dirty floor, incorporative housemates etc. I being cleaning the home for months. I'm also an ordinary student who have assignment, classes, avtivity blah blah blah~ I not that 'kira-kira' type of people, if I can, then I will do. But, I'm sick of it already. Call for a meeting, all don't want to attend rather sitting in the room doing nothing. Huh!!

Not only house was bad, room was also as terrible. Noise coming out all the way...even I'm so busy. Now, I undestand what it means with 'treat a person good means treat yourself badly'. ..feeling very noisy and unconfortable!! :'(

Result also release this week. I got a terrible result, no idea how finals will going to be any more. ...scary feeling came to mind continuesly. :( ....NO!! A Mi Tou Hut!

Obligation of a STUDENT

A student must attend classes.
A student must study for examination.
A student must complete every homework.


Every human being have less than 20 years to be a student. From the age of 7 till most probable 23 or 24, the duration is not long. It only occupied a little portion of you life time. Although it was a small small portion, the time going though it seems to be sooo long that everyone dislike being a student.

Seriously, 90% of children don't like to study. No one born to love books. Its just an obligation of daily life. Stepping into University does not mean that they are book worms and love books so much that make them score with flying colours. Expecially attending lectures and tutorials, everyone do not want to listen to a 'mengantuk' lecturer with so called 'irritating' smile that was shown. ..or even scolding for the late of class.

But, no one have the choice to avoid. Attending class is an obligation for a student. If you don't attend, its your fault. Don't make it a trouble for others. I seriously dislike it so much. What? Sms-ing me?? Calling me??? What is this? Untill the barring list is out only you instruct this and that?

I also don't like to go for class. Everyone knows, I can't wake up even at 5pm though it is a 8/9am class. Although I'm pysically awake but psychologically I'm still in dreamland. I still follow the time table. Who don't want to sleep without on-ing the alarm clocks, disturbance of the morning cock, awaken by room mate's door cracking sound and so on. People like me even don't like to walk with my legs to campus. But, what can I do? I don't go to class? Am I that hardworking? Frankly speaking, my mind is always absent during the lecture. I'm only there to copy all the notes and take it home. Then it will be freezing under my bed till the day before the examination. Its sound meaningless of attending lectures like that. The attendance that count, I have no choice but to go. I don't trouble people for signing, I also don't hope to signing for others. Therefore, I must always help myself.

Not to say that I'm selfish that I don't help others. I'm the person that always keep to my own principle. So sorry, if I hurt you as a reader of my blog. But, this obligation may not stay any longer. Just a few years and its over. We GAMBETTE together!!!

Very SIEN aahhhhh!!!!!

walao!! cukup SIEN SIEN SIENZZZ!!! Felt so 'sien'. I mean me being so sien... Sleep sien, shopping sien, jogging sien, cleaning sien, chatting sien, study LAGI sien. Why Why why??? Big problem!! whole day no mood...every day sien. The meaning of life did not exist anymore. This feeling only exist on old age category of people and not a young people like me. OMG!! What happen?? Am I feeling unwell? My health fine...no headache nothing. Then how came my mood like a cancer patient or...haih... One word...Sien la... Tell me what to do!! I need something to boost my spirit!!!

Besides, Malacca really a dead city. Nothing for me to do, play or even enjoy. Huh!! Sien ah!!! ...place I mostly go are buffet reastaurant, sushi king (if got money), jusco, mahkota, pahlawan, satay celup, and jonker street. That's all. Don't like kareaoke....say NO to Go-Go. Went to play pool before, but don't think will play it again. Shopping mall also smaller then quuesbay nor gurney...not even half of them. And, all the item are almost the same. I better go back penang and get it since my parents paying for it hehe~

Sudah Bosan GILA~ Tak ada orang di rumah lagi, nanti saya naik gila pun tak ada orang hantar ke tanjung rambutan. ...sangat kesian betul :((

Desperate girl ^^

...noticing me?? Starting to get closer and closer to you. Following your shadow is always a wonder for me. You might not notice anyway. Yesterday, I think you purposely flip back to get me up. ^^ ..ada orang naik miang dah! haha! Actually, I'm happily out there catching your front view as I usually peep you from the back. Though there is almost 0% for us to be friends, I still dream so much. You emotion, action, stlye, speech and character will always in my memory. Can't be deleted. Don't know how I fall so much. Don't know why its you. Don't know the reason. ...first time being so unreasonable, ilogical, irrational blah blah blah~ Maybe I will find the reason far later...if I remember you. :)


...seems like this girl been prepared to start a relationship uh! I hope so much but get so less :P One of my friend tell me she been presure this few days because of guys. ..u know how much I hope to be as attractive as you. But, me?? ....chiu...I bad girl la...always get eyes out of me.

Sunny & Rainy

Weather in Malacca change any time. Sometimes cold, sometimes HOT! Anyhow, its cool to have a rainy day so that I can sleep the whole day ^^ Unfortunately, its not the weather that been rainy, its my emotion. It raise up sometimes, drop down in just a second. I don't know who I'm any more. Being a optimist, happy go lucky always been my characteristic. But...


Assignment, making up stress. Group member, making up dislike. Friendship, making up unhappy. .....just because of the word 'win'. Everyone are so 'kia su'. Its undeniable I fall into that category too. The second I was instruct to join a friend that I don't really like to complete the assignment. My volume when haih....speeechless! Just after few minutes, my closest friends hentam me few word...critized me. For a suddenly, I feel the wordl is nothing. Nothing will loose out even there is no HENG JIA LIAN. I'm just no one. how sad am I? ...can't discribe...


Alone, may be discribe as freedom in a positive way. In a negative side, it means no one wants to be with you cause you are not a good person. All my course mate when home, 7 of my house mate when home, club training training canceled too.... No body could I chat with. I'm always alone in the apartment room. ...gonna be crazy if continue to live alone! Wan more social activity!!!

Examssss!!!

HELP!!! I'm addicted to my lovely mattress ^.^ Look up at my bulky notes, dream of my pillow. Look up at my assignment, hug on my bears. Look up at my presentation question, stick myself on the bed!! OMG!!! ..its out of control!! Its not me...not me!!

Because of that, I drank 2 tin of mocha to stick my eyes on company law notes. And, I ended up getting a terrible headache. Just after the exam, I 'terus balik TIDUR'. Everyone was calling me out 'yam cha'....my room mate got shock...my house mate was gossiping about me etc. huh!!! I'm that terrible?? I'm also a discipline little girl ok!! Don't destroy my innocent name. Hehe...Bluek!!


After 2 days is another land law exam. I did not even draft the notes nor scan though it before. Luckily, got one 'smart' guy did all the notes for me. Wahaha!! Even do I fail, I have no regret. TQ so much ^^


...phew!! A stress for two days, making me out of order. What's up now??
ASSIGNMENT!!! Type...faster!! Ah Mi Tou Hut lo....popi popi!!! Don't die so fast..wahaha!!!

08/08/08

wow...nice date ah!! Would it be a nice day to me??...hm...i guess should be a special day for me ^^ This time don't go around the bush, to main point. From 7.30pm I sit at a kopitiam to 12am, to watch the Beijing Olympic. Wahahaha!! Because, my hostel do not have any television. haih... Actually, I need the washroom since 9pm, but I cannot take off my sit. My big butt suffer the whole Olympic Ceremony. When it ends, I cannot even stand up and walk properly. ...funny eh.... poor me... Anyway, it worth sitting that long. Lucky, I got my house mate bicycle to race back. ...shhh! Don't tell her, if not I will be dead. :P Best Olympic ^^ It ended.

Emcee...

hm...guess when I been told to be the selected emcee for Aikido annual dinner?? ....on thurday late afternoon. I was shock. It was a big event. For a failure like me, normally only deals with mini events that always no people will attend. ..its really a fear!! Seriously, I cannot sleep for the whole night even though I was so tired after the 2 squash matches. ...a little happy...a little scare. Don't know the direction. :P


That Saturday evening, I was hiding myself at the back of the restaurant. Hoping that no sensei notice me then I might escape. However, Sensei's words will always not fade away. At last....I still need to do the job. Ok then...I'm always the standby one. The funnies thing before I go on stage...Tony sensei ask Dr Leong Sensei what did she plan for the night. But actually, Dr Leong sensei was just starting to open the paper that I gave him. Then, he show the 'white blank' paper to Tony sensei. There was nothing inside! Dr Leong sensei said' this is what she did for the past two days'. HAHA! Lucky thing...no one comment on that white paper. BLUEK!!!


The talking thing had taken my whole night. I don't know whether it was really great or not....but all people told me it was a great job. They prefer me than Dr Leong Sensei....as he was so formal. wahahaha!! :P ...shh....don't tell him that. If not...I will be dead! The bad thing is everyone only remember 'mum and 'aunty'. ...aiyo....


Furthermore, some look so surprise seeing me in skirt. I'm also an ordinary girl la...aiyo! Like I came from the forest...haha!! Some was telling me I look different, off mats. :) ...happieee...


Anyway, it was a good experience for me. Hopefully, I will not be the select one for the next years. BLUEK!! I prefer to eat the whole night. ^^

My 21st...

Now only I'm being awake from the dream I had for 21 years. My life was terrible for the day :(( If you follow my blogs, I was so unhappy dealings with clubs. However, I have no choice but to DO. The week before my birthday, I was so sad until I cried in front of my friends. On the day before my birthday, I was half recovering. But, there is no way to be done. Another telephone that will always making me down. OMG!!! It was terrible!!!! On 12am, sharp!!! Not ex-bf...is the impossible ones!! Huh!!! idiot lagi lo...who else!

The day will not simple end like this, I was alone for my b'day. Although it was on my own, freeness is better than been disturb. I done everything that need to be done. Finish my studies...happily go on bus to Aikido Seminar ^^ But, on my last few hours of the day was destroy! My mood flies! Know what happen?? I wish it don't happen anyway....but my hope will never be real. ...haih.... A guy which I always don;t hope to celebrate my b'day with me will always appear on my b'day. He is sending me to hell! ..I'm thinking of getting off my seat and say 'could you stop everything..'. Nothing did I do, I continue blowing the candle, cut the cake blah blah blah~ For a sudden, I feel it is not been me anymore. ..being a weak women who do not know how to say NO. ...have no more personality... OMG!! Could someone help me??? Please....kao meng ah!!! Not only the celebration that making me fet up, its HIM!!! Could you stop getting close to me?? He like to sit beside me. OK...its fine to me. But then, please stop getting closer and closer. Even though I shifted my chair he stilllll........ aaaaahhhhhh!!!! I'm thinking of slaping him lo...what the H_LL!!!

This is the first birthday that I had never ever had for being so fet up! One of my non- close friend notice it. He was just like so quiet at the corner. HAHA...his reaction was funny! ..angry lo, did not rescue me. Huh!! Anyway never mind, I have no choice I know. So, should I say my birthday was terrible?? ...haih....hope not to remember :( ..wish there is no celebration then to celebrate...but its too late now.

Anyhow, I still have a happy thing on the day. Mum give me a key chain ^^ I did not get any b'day present before. My 21st will be the first. TQ! So the next present from mother...i think will be on my wedding lo! wahahaha!!! How came my 21st only have this happiness! Its really terrible horrible!

我的快乐....会回来的!!!

Sorry for myself of being so down all the moment. ..shhh...no one knows the secret in my heart!! Lets it be a secret forever ^^


..hm... Get some tips to Mr Blogger as he help me release my stress always. Hehe~ I had an analysis of my emotion. Being president of Aikido, I'm been criticized, comment, scold etc. Last year, when I'm the 'Head' of squash, even I get thousands of 'scolding' words, 'idiot' word, I don't even feel angry. ...just wanted to look forward and push the club up to the top point. But, I did not have the feelings that I wanted to flash it on the club I'm handling now. How came? ..and being so emo after get such comment...


Everyone knows, I take the club because of responsibility not because of interest. Responsibility that always making it tough!! Squash had followed me for 11 years. I play it, sleep with it, dream about it, smile and cry because of it. Many and many moments getting through during this 11 years. Winning and losing, make me grow up. It is an essential of my life. However, Aikido is only a 2 years old instrument in my life. While its not the thing that I would think of before and after training. The feeling for it didn't came out from my sincere heart. ..its not as important as squash.


Seeing the progress of Squash club this year, boost up my spirit. ...my effort not wasted, its my pleasure to see such a result. Very HAPPY!!


Sorry Aikido, I will only do what I can as there is difficult of rescuing the club. If anything goes wrong...please forgive me. I really don't mean to be. GOD BLESS ME...I'd made a wrong choice!

心愿便利贴

男: 一天一天 贴近你的心 你开心 我关心
女: 一点一滴 我都能感应 你是我 最美的相信

男:等不到双子座 流星雨 撒满天际
女:新点燃九支仙女棒代替
男:最灿烂不一定 要许多 钻石黄金
合:看你眼睛有幸福的倒影

女:把你的讨厌 转几遍 送到天边
男:平凡的傻事 用了心 变成经典
合:最浪漫的心愿 便利贴 贴成无限
就是我们 最富有的宣言

男:把你的喜欢 每一天 复习两遍
女:惊喜的语言 我的天 通通灵验
合:你和我的心愿 便利贴 贴心里面
收集感动 给以后怀念

男:等不到双子座 流星雨 撒满天际
女:新点燃九支仙女棒代替
男:最灿烂不一定 要许多 钻石黄金
合:看你眼睛有幸福的倒影

女:把你的讨厌 转几遍 送到天边
男:平凡的傻事 用了心 变成经典
合:最浪漫的心愿 便利贴 贴成无限
就是我们 最富有的宣言

男:把你的喜欢 每一天 复习两遍
女:惊喜的语言 我的天 通通灵验
合:你和我的心愿 便利贴 贴心里面
收集感动 给以后怀念

女:嗒嗒啦~嗒嗒啦~嗒~嗒~啦~
男:嗒~啦啦啦~(女:嗒~嗒啦~)
男:嗒~啦啦啦~(女:嗒~嗒啦~)

女:把你的讨厌 转几遍 送到天边
男:平凡的傻事 用了心 变成经典
合:最浪漫的心愿 便利贴 贴成无限
就是我们 最富有的宣言

把你的喜欢 每一天 复习两遍
惊喜的语言 都为你 提早灵验
你和我的心愿 便利贴
贴心里面
收集感动 给以后怀念

女:一天一天 贴近你的心
男:一点一滴 我都能感应
合:你是最美的 相信

A Cry??

Finally, I drop my tears...during the celebration session. Unhappiness moments keep coming towards me, I can't even release myself! At last...at last, I get it down. Thank You friends!!! 'I Know you all are concern about me, but I just can't tell. Leave me to be independent. I'm always alone...so get me to be alone forever.' ...maybe it will be better to face it myself. I'm gonna be 21st soon, there is no time to waste from growing up. I swear, I will learn, I will be more happier, I will be hardworking, I will be more successful than the past!! ...won't drop ANYMORE!!!!


Those day, feeling so down. No mood for everything including assignments. There are tonnes of assignment to be finish. OMG!! I'm getting stress. Cool~ No time to loose!! ADD OIL!!! Remember, You are NOTHING!! So, WORK for YOURSELF!!!!

Get OUT!!!!

FU_K!!! What a shit is that? Are you trying to control the president?...or even check on the president? What the hell is this?! If you really want to manage it, please step in to be the president. Don't always question me!! Seriously, I hate that!!! I don't like to be a president also, but because of sensei, I had to do so. I'm just helping you all to avoid him.


No one like 'him' so called. But, before I get the respect, I need to learn how to respect people first. My rule is respect senior. Since he is our senior, we shall follow his steps. No loop holds to urge. ...cannot accept anything that is said to be unreasonable to me. Majority came first!


Besides, please don't be prejudice to much. The world is not only YOU. You cannot accept, does not mean people cannot too. There is different perception and degrees to be consider.


Please, I'm trying to be good. So, please remind in your place, if not, no one will take it anymore. I'm fet up of that!!!

Date?

...guess who I saw few days? A second to think... Everywhere in my way, along the road..along the trees..along the bush..along blah blah blah~ haha! Desperate of seeing him, even though I do not feel the inconsistence of heart beat, the breathless breeze, the speechless mouth, just a feeling of comfortable. Seems great, didn't I? ^.^

A date might be a wonderful start for me, might also be a horrible start for him. Haha! Torturous action cannot be forfeit, naturally came out from me. :P But, I think everyone would be scare of dating such a 'independent girl' who cannot even take any imperfect characteristic. :;
Many question 'possessed my mind' for a date. Do I really would like to couple up? Am I suitable to be dated? Would I give someone 'walk' into my heart? I'm the one that always STOP giving people chances to possess my time, my heart, my mind, my everything~ Too protective of myself which make me ended up having nothing.

Just after ending a relationship, the bored-ness of life did not bared me. Unfortunately, I'm too selfish to share a 'ME' to other. Anyhow, a dream is still wondering in heaven. ^^

Life goes on....

...Tik-Tok, Tik-Tok.. The dream past too fast that I didn't have time to enjoy flying in heaven's sky. My 3 weeks holiday, first and second week of classes had not giving me a time for relaxation. ...or even, club activities had flash my time away. Don't even have time to leave a blog here. Wondering, why for a sudden I create it now? hm.... Because I'm having ENOUGH of brain storming that could make me 'botak' one day. I just wanna tell myself to STOP!!! So, Mr. blogger is the one that always be my best listener. ^^


There's many scene that fill up my 3 weeks holiday. A trip to Cameron, made up smile with family. My little hamster also went along, but was hiding under the cage as the weather not suiting it. ...so cute ^.^...unfortunately, no evidence was taken of it. Just after step into Penang Island, I was employed to work. On majority view, it should be great. But, it ended up suffering. Everyday, wake up at 6am to catch the bus and ferry. Although it stated 5.15 is their finishing time, I have too much work to do. So, OT la... As a result, I reach home...at 8.30pm!!!! The feeling was like...OMG!!! Reaching home is not safe anyway. Researching job was assign to me, which I must present it the next day. Walao....I don't even have time to sit down and have a proper dinner. ...was a terrible holiday :( Next time, I must be fast enough to escape from this by entering Orientation Committee that take away 2 weeks of holiday, then I'm FREE! After graduate from MMU, find a rich husband, then I will escape from WORK!!! wahahaha! Only left 2 years for me to find it, the percentage is decreasing year by year. God bless me!! hehe!


Now, I'm upgrading myself to be a delta year student. Wow...I really feel the standard of being a.... shhh...I'm not qualified to say so. :) haih... Stress in class, don't have time to copy the notes, don't understand the lectures, don't concentrate in class....don't this and that! Everything la @_@ I blur!! Its just the second week, and I had been screwed up by a lecturer. :( ...bad feeling...


Stop here. If not, bad stuff will be coming after me..because I did not prepare for Monday presentation yet +_+ Will be question later :(

Brain cracking

...I'm going crazy!! Crazy!!! Supposedly, I should be thinking of severals way to attempt the exam question for this 2 weeks. Unfortunately, something had attracted my attention. OMG!! I'm falling too much into it... Dream in the night, reverie...wasting my precious time. ..aaaaahhhh!! Get me OUT!!!

Will be dissolve soon!

Seeing a club to death is a very sad moment...especially that was once your interest. I really can't see why the committees spirits are not there even they are not appointed to do any job. Isn't it great holding a position, getting sap point and do nothing?.... Very disappointed with human beings... Don't you all have interest? Hobby? or even something? Is life only studies?? Gonna be breathless if I continue thinking about that 'infinity' question and answer. It's just a small club, no big event, no sponsor ship need to be maintain, no nothing, only budget and go! What a big deal? Even you do not have budget, the participant still can pay for it. No problem! But, WHY? Is the responsibility very heavy? ...no need to represent club for meetings, no representative for university event... Not active is not a matter, it just voice down on team management must be strong enough.


....ah!!!... I really very angry! From the start I must not help that 'stupid' club! Giving them all the tips, and they only wan MONEY!!! ...what the hell is that? You want money...but no event gonna held.. Is that logic enough?? Even they have the money...but they know nuts! All become haywire. At first, I though that because of the leadership problem. Now only I realize that all are USELESS! ...I was the most stupidest of all by trusting them....really thinking of the 4 letter word!


Last few days, I brought the president question to my ex-room mate and another close friend. They tell me that..it easier to change you mind or to persuade once mind. The answer is obvious...change your own concept of thinking la... I think..think and think! at the last minute...i really would like to change my mind...but something happen that I say 'absolutely NO' to the position. It was a very big mistake...serious problem! A club without a absolute figure...is that a recognize club?? walao....really gonna get mad. Okey...starting from now...not gonna concern about that anymore. I'm not going to HELL again....

Life Passion....

Receiving a comment from my friend, I realized that I'm going bad to worst. I wasn't me anymore. Was it good or bad? Being so kept to myself, do everything by myself, making myself having a though life, being narrow minded..leads to being so emo! I'm a optimistic person, hope for everything. ...quite a stupid thinking... May be I should change...change to be more flexible and suit the environment. ;)


Going up and down the hills for just seconds.. Found that my EQ had gone down that I cannot even control it. This call...'low standard'. ..haih... Now, its time for me to turn around be a 'Sabrina' creating a magic on myself to make it prefect then ever. O_o ...Patient, rational, wisdom and wit..please came back to me!


Okey..please stop damping unhappy stuff here. Look into happy stuff today. :) ..hm...seldom have happy moment to be written in my blogger. HAHA! Lets make the change here and NOW!

Friday, I had my club appreciation dinner at City Bayview hotel. Yaahoo! It was great...greater then what I expected.Even my club adviser was so happy about it. Unfortunately, I going to leave the club soon. Its a unforgettable moment with all the members. Seeing the club grow, be prosperous, be active, getting wide spread and so on. Its my pleasure...! Especially the Penang trip to USM, I know more about all the members. :) MASUM games also..although there is only 4 of us. I feel the spirit that flash on all of us. Still remember the luxury van that fetch us to the squash court? We was so curious on the price, facilities, blah blah blah~ on the van...haha! Even the video thingi can scan rats...lalala~ haha! The supportive spirit that I have not had since I leave Penang squash team. Hopefully, next year, there still a chance for me to represent the University. ;)


Yesterday night..'haha' was a funny moment! Being a pro consultant! This is my first time giving advise to people... Been so emotional for almost 1 week can still cool myself down and give rational analysis. Walao...I found that I been upgraded! ...up level lo... Hehe..bluek! Tak tau malu...puji sendiri. The problem was complicated...ops not just complicated...is very triple complicated! HAHA! Question arise was whether being a third party to a couple relationship is a wrongful act in the 21st century or even the in age of 20s. No answer for that...right? Want to know what answer I give him? Recall back...it is an infinity answer. :P It just voice down to your own philosophy ...and the perceptions. if you have any answer for this brilliant question...do tell me. :)

Friendship are nonsense

It is undeniable that everyone need friends. The more the better. Question came into my mind was...more hi-bye friends is better or just one best friend is more then enough. I was so sad that I realize that I don't even have a best friend by my side when I need a hand. ...really bad... To all my friend, I have many friends in campus. Anywhere I go, there will be people entertaining or speak to me. But, that was all hi-bye friends. How came...I had came to the end stage like this? Is that too emo? =_=" I wanted to actually relies myself by tell my close friend in campus, but she was also in the same situation today. So, I also fail to forward the news to her and being a consultant again. ..haih... I also need help la...


Yesterday, the event was not smoothly conduct on the public demonstration. I was so disappointed that even my friends did not came and support me. Just a word ..assignment then it gone off. Seems like I'm so free to do everything. Ya...I'm too free nothing to do...very kepoh too to organize such an event and make myself susah! Make myself busy..and seok sendiri! What the hell is that?! ..really fet up about it... There are even people peeping at the back of the hall and not coming in... Its you university, you have the freedom to walk wherever you want. Alamak! Its really...'no' 'no'...i don't know what!


Feeling abit fet up with life. Too busybody, too talkative, too narrow minded...everything la... I really need a breath....too emo again! God bless me!

Upgraded!

During the mock presentation on Thursday, I actually did not prepare much. Just kind of searching some cases and applying statues for argument. I did not expect the result to be so...anyway I'm happy about that. :) The lecturer told me that I had improve....I was so happy for the whole night! Wahaha! Last few weeks, she was just criticizing me and wanted me to go on a consultation under her. Wow...that seems terrible! I did not expect I went down so....... Now, I calming up again. Sometime, I will be the ONE.. :)



After class, I went for some activity. Guess who I saw? Its really making me very shock. Seeing a guy which will not talk to me in class, campus nor in his own office. ...hm... It was shock that he came to my back and talk to me. What he trying to do? Did the gossip make rumors...that he believe all the words? Am I creating a doubt for him? Question marks was all around my head...please find me an answer for it. Haih....



...being so tired of organizing events...the day had came! Tomorrow, the event is starting. I really don't know how it will be...what problem will arise...what what and what? Must be patient to wait for the hours to pass, and go though by myself. It must go step by step... Cool, cool...it won't be that bad. Hopefully, it will be as successful as Squash club. :)

Work ended TODAY.. start TODAY!

...haih.... At last, it ended my job in squash club. I slept for almost 5 hours after the MMU Closed. Really very happy! :) Gila...lost the match to Airini also so happy.... But, I'm really very happy. haha! Now, I'm looking forward only for the appreciation dinner. Must have a good day...no time to miss. Wahaha...sound greedy ar....its the real scene, my style. Hehe!

The only thing left now is Aikido club. Hopefully, it will go smooth as what I expect. But, till now, many problem arises. Anyway, if the problem raise now, better then on the last minute. So, I have time to think about it. The thing I'm unhappy is the co-operation of the committees. Its very disappointed to see committees do not work hard to success the program. I did not really expect much from them but there are still some standard that should be maintain. Really don't understand what their mind is thinking. Just a small job to attend, this cannot that cannot... If I'm the one who cannot, what will the program be? I really very tired of organizing the event or even organizing a meeting to finalize all the stuff. We need opinion, raise several circumstances and many more to be solve. However, the manner that they give me is "YOU DECIDE EVERYTHING LA~" What is this?? You see Pah Lah only watch what his minister do the job by quarreling in the newspaper between themselves. He only talk when the discussion ended. For my situation, from the beginning to the end, all my session. ...hem....

Last few days, there is also some discussion on the friendship between my friends. Its really surprise to know law student. ...... =_=" Gossip and 'stupid' stories were make up to destroy people's mental illness. That was fun! Really FUN and FUNNY! In the 21century, there is nothing better then 'mental game'. Its right to say 'NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE". I really don't understand. Is law subject too easy? You don't need to study...you have plenty of time to predict your steps. ...I wrote before that I only want safe friend and not dangerous friend. If you really do not like to be my 'safe' friend, then please get out of my life. I have many things that need to be complete, no time must be waste on you. Seriously, I treat my friends all from my heart. I don't have many friends, I only belief in myself. Its not a big deal not to have friend. One friend for me is more then enough. Because my life is on my own and not for others. Please...I would like this to be ended, the war shall not involve me.

'A MI TOU HUT'.....hopefully this end soon... So that I can slept as much as possible. wahahaha!! Love my bed so much. Love my home bed more... :P

Nightmares again...

phew!! One down another one up... I hate that! It start from giving consent on being the president of squash club is already a challenge for me. I don't have any ability to be that high. Bad feeling came one by one, that I had to cry all night to reduce the impact. Now, I am FREE!!! Having a successor, I will not be a failure anymore.

Leaving squash club to others had already free my life, but there is another club who offer me the job. OMG!!! I really getting mad of it. Its really not a good job for me nor an enjoyment thing out of it. The only thing I gain is the event that making up my time. I really sick of it. Would like to prefer having a restless day, stick myself on the bed the whole day, going shopping with friends on the weekend is better than discussing club's activity. Please, I really do not like the job. Do give the job to others that have the interest out of it. I would like to stop. Preferable to have a boyfriend than having a club to fill up my time. Really embarrassing to be single in the age of 21. So....joining club did not really help to get me a partner....HAHA! Seems like I'm so desperate to have one. Every girl would like to be attractive, so do I. Hehe....

Hopefully, I would not get the job in the coming trimester....blah blah blah~ Pray for me ya...hehe!

Gentleman...

What actually the meaning of gentleman?? Its really a doubt for me as a female... Nowadays, I seldom see men acting like a men...unlikely there is still some who sounds so 'pondan'. Not helping female with their weeknesses or even give a hand on it. They are just as useless as women to say a word 'NO TIME...BUSY....OTHER THINGS GOING ON...Blah Blah Blah' As technology change, human characters must also change. Is that logic?

21st century, men and women are said to be equel. How logic must it be? 50% or 70%?? To me, women and men are not equal add all. If they were same, then men should wear skirt also. Why not? Modern --> fasion.

Its sad to see male had gone to this step that they are not known as 'heroes' anymore. The leads must always be an example to secure the main characteristic of a MALE. Therefore, please don't follow the one that you are not suppose to.

Li-Li La-La day

No emotion, no sadness, no everything from the morning till late evening. It was just an assumption for a good day. Morning having exam which gone blank when I saw the exam sheet, it did not destroy my mood. In a serious thing like exam did not even make me down. Unfortunately, something that unexpected happen. An authorizes person had fail to upload the thing for me. I was so frustrated when I checked it. Only now, I notice that I was wrong for the whole day being so... Looks idiot, wanted to change things but things won't change just by your instruction.

Having headaches on exam is already a BIG burden. Please....don't make my life so terrible because of you. I really don't mean to be, but I really feel fet up now!