Emcee...

hm...guess when I been told to be the selected emcee for Aikido annual dinner?? ....on thurday late afternoon. I was shock. It was a big event. For a failure like me, normally only deals with mini events that always no people will attend. ..its really a fear!! Seriously, I cannot sleep for the whole night even though I was so tired after the 2 squash matches. ...a little happy...a little scare. Don't know the direction. :P


That Saturday evening, I was hiding myself at the back of the restaurant. Hoping that no sensei notice me then I might escape. However, Sensei's words will always not fade away. At last....I still need to do the job. Ok then...I'm always the standby one. The funnies thing before I go on stage...Tony sensei ask Dr Leong Sensei what did she plan for the night. But actually, Dr Leong sensei was just starting to open the paper that I gave him. Then, he show the 'white blank' paper to Tony sensei. There was nothing inside! Dr Leong sensei said' this is what she did for the past two days'. HAHA! Lucky thing...no one comment on that white paper. BLUEK!!!


The talking thing had taken my whole night. I don't know whether it was really great or not....but all people told me it was a great job. They prefer me than Dr Leong Sensei....as he was so formal. wahahaha!! :P ...shh....don't tell him that. If not...I will be dead! The bad thing is everyone only remember 'mum and 'aunty'. ...aiyo....


Furthermore, some look so surprise seeing me in skirt. I'm also an ordinary girl la...aiyo! Like I came from the forest...haha!! Some was telling me I look different, off mats. :) ...happieee...


Anyway, it was a good experience for me. Hopefully, I will not be the select one for the next years. BLUEK!! I prefer to eat the whole night. ^^

My 21st...

Now only I'm being awake from the dream I had for 21 years. My life was terrible for the day :(( If you follow my blogs, I was so unhappy dealings with clubs. However, I have no choice but to DO. The week before my birthday, I was so sad until I cried in front of my friends. On the day before my birthday, I was half recovering. But, there is no way to be done. Another telephone that will always making me down. OMG!!! It was terrible!!!! On 12am, sharp!!! Not ex-bf...is the impossible ones!! Huh!!! idiot lagi lo...who else!

The day will not simple end like this, I was alone for my b'day. Although it was on my own, freeness is better than been disturb. I done everything that need to be done. Finish my studies...happily go on bus to Aikido Seminar ^^ But, on my last few hours of the day was destroy! My mood flies! Know what happen?? I wish it don't happen anyway....but my hope will never be real. ...haih.... A guy which I always don;t hope to celebrate my b'day with me will always appear on my b'day. He is sending me to hell! ..I'm thinking of getting off my seat and say 'could you stop everything..'. Nothing did I do, I continue blowing the candle, cut the cake blah blah blah~ For a sudden, I feel it is not been me anymore. ..being a weak women who do not know how to say NO. ...have no more personality... OMG!! Could someone help me??? Please....kao meng ah!!! Not only the celebration that making me fet up, its HIM!!! Could you stop getting close to me?? He like to sit beside me. OK...its fine to me. But then, please stop getting closer and closer. Even though I shifted my chair he stilllll........ aaaaahhhhhh!!!! I'm thinking of slaping him lo...what the H_LL!!!

This is the first birthday that I had never ever had for being so fet up! One of my non- close friend notice it. He was just like so quiet at the corner. HAHA...his reaction was funny! ..angry lo, did not rescue me. Huh!! Anyway never mind, I have no choice I know. So, should I say my birthday was terrible?? ...haih....hope not to remember :( ..wish there is no celebration then to celebrate...but its too late now.

Anyhow, I still have a happy thing on the day. Mum give me a key chain ^^ I did not get any b'day present before. My 21st will be the first. TQ! So the next present from mother...i think will be on my wedding lo! wahahaha!!! How came my 21st only have this happiness! Its really terrible horrible!

我的快乐....会回来的!!!

Sorry for myself of being so down all the moment. ..shhh...no one knows the secret in my heart!! Lets it be a secret forever ^^


..hm... Get some tips to Mr Blogger as he help me release my stress always. Hehe~ I had an analysis of my emotion. Being president of Aikido, I'm been criticized, comment, scold etc. Last year, when I'm the 'Head' of squash, even I get thousands of 'scolding' words, 'idiot' word, I don't even feel angry. ...just wanted to look forward and push the club up to the top point. But, I did not have the feelings that I wanted to flash it on the club I'm handling now. How came? ..and being so emo after get such comment...


Everyone knows, I take the club because of responsibility not because of interest. Responsibility that always making it tough!! Squash had followed me for 11 years. I play it, sleep with it, dream about it, smile and cry because of it. Many and many moments getting through during this 11 years. Winning and losing, make me grow up. It is an essential of my life. However, Aikido is only a 2 years old instrument in my life. While its not the thing that I would think of before and after training. The feeling for it didn't came out from my sincere heart. ..its not as important as squash.


Seeing the progress of Squash club this year, boost up my spirit. ...my effort not wasted, its my pleasure to see such a result. Very HAPPY!!


Sorry Aikido, I will only do what I can as there is difficult of rescuing the club. If anything goes wrong...please forgive me. I really don't mean to be. GOD BLESS ME...I'd made a wrong choice!

心愿便利贴

男: 一天一天 贴近你的心 你开心 我关心
女: 一点一滴 我都能感应 你是我 最美的相信

男:等不到双子座 流星雨 撒满天际
女:新点燃九支仙女棒代替
男:最灿烂不一定 要许多 钻石黄金
合:看你眼睛有幸福的倒影

女:把你的讨厌 转几遍 送到天边
男:平凡的傻事 用了心 变成经典
合:最浪漫的心愿 便利贴 贴成无限
就是我们 最富有的宣言

男:把你的喜欢 每一天 复习两遍
女:惊喜的语言 我的天 通通灵验
合:你和我的心愿 便利贴 贴心里面
收集感动 给以后怀念

男:等不到双子座 流星雨 撒满天际
女:新点燃九支仙女棒代替
男:最灿烂不一定 要许多 钻石黄金
合:看你眼睛有幸福的倒影

女:把你的讨厌 转几遍 送到天边
男:平凡的傻事 用了心 变成经典
合:最浪漫的心愿 便利贴 贴成无限
就是我们 最富有的宣言

男:把你的喜欢 每一天 复习两遍
女:惊喜的语言 我的天 通通灵验
合:你和我的心愿 便利贴 贴心里面
收集感动 给以后怀念

女:嗒嗒啦~嗒嗒啦~嗒~嗒~啦~
男:嗒~啦啦啦~(女:嗒~嗒啦~)
男:嗒~啦啦啦~(女:嗒~嗒啦~)

女:把你的讨厌 转几遍 送到天边
男:平凡的傻事 用了心 变成经典
合:最浪漫的心愿 便利贴 贴成无限
就是我们 最富有的宣言

把你的喜欢 每一天 复习两遍
惊喜的语言 都为你 提早灵验
你和我的心愿 便利贴
贴心里面
收集感动 给以后怀念

女:一天一天 贴近你的心
男:一点一滴 我都能感应
合:你是最美的 相信

A Cry??

Finally, I drop my tears...during the celebration session. Unhappiness moments keep coming towards me, I can't even release myself! At last...at last, I get it down. Thank You friends!!! 'I Know you all are concern about me, but I just can't tell. Leave me to be independent. I'm always alone...so get me to be alone forever.' ...maybe it will be better to face it myself. I'm gonna be 21st soon, there is no time to waste from growing up. I swear, I will learn, I will be more happier, I will be hardworking, I will be more successful than the past!! ...won't drop ANYMORE!!!!


Those day, feeling so down. No mood for everything including assignments. There are tonnes of assignment to be finish. OMG!! I'm getting stress. Cool~ No time to loose!! ADD OIL!!! Remember, You are NOTHING!! So, WORK for YOURSELF!!!!

Get OUT!!!!

FU_K!!! What a shit is that? Are you trying to control the president?...or even check on the president? What the hell is this?! If you really want to manage it, please step in to be the president. Don't always question me!! Seriously, I hate that!!! I don't like to be a president also, but because of sensei, I had to do so. I'm just helping you all to avoid him.


No one like 'him' so called. But, before I get the respect, I need to learn how to respect people first. My rule is respect senior. Since he is our senior, we shall follow his steps. No loop holds to urge. ...cannot accept anything that is said to be unreasonable to me. Majority came first!


Besides, please don't be prejudice to much. The world is not only YOU. You cannot accept, does not mean people cannot too. There is different perception and degrees to be consider.


Please, I'm trying to be good. So, please remind in your place, if not, no one will take it anymore. I'm fet up of that!!!

Date?

...guess who I saw few days? A second to think... Everywhere in my way, along the road..along the trees..along the bush..along blah blah blah~ haha! Desperate of seeing him, even though I do not feel the inconsistence of heart beat, the breathless breeze, the speechless mouth, just a feeling of comfortable. Seems great, didn't I? ^.^

A date might be a wonderful start for me, might also be a horrible start for him. Haha! Torturous action cannot be forfeit, naturally came out from me. :P But, I think everyone would be scare of dating such a 'independent girl' who cannot even take any imperfect characteristic. :;
Many question 'possessed my mind' for a date. Do I really would like to couple up? Am I suitable to be dated? Would I give someone 'walk' into my heart? I'm the one that always STOP giving people chances to possess my time, my heart, my mind, my everything~ Too protective of myself which make me ended up having nothing.

Just after ending a relationship, the bored-ness of life did not bared me. Unfortunately, I'm too selfish to share a 'ME' to other. Anyhow, a dream is still wondering in heaven. ^^

Life goes on....

...Tik-Tok, Tik-Tok.. The dream past too fast that I didn't have time to enjoy flying in heaven's sky. My 3 weeks holiday, first and second week of classes had not giving me a time for relaxation. ...or even, club activities had flash my time away. Don't even have time to leave a blog here. Wondering, why for a sudden I create it now? hm.... Because I'm having ENOUGH of brain storming that could make me 'botak' one day. I just wanna tell myself to STOP!!! So, Mr. blogger is the one that always be my best listener. ^^


There's many scene that fill up my 3 weeks holiday. A trip to Cameron, made up smile with family. My little hamster also went along, but was hiding under the cage as the weather not suiting it. ...so cute ^.^...unfortunately, no evidence was taken of it. Just after step into Penang Island, I was employed to work. On majority view, it should be great. But, it ended up suffering. Everyday, wake up at 6am to catch the bus and ferry. Although it stated 5.15 is their finishing time, I have too much work to do. So, OT la... As a result, I reach home...at 8.30pm!!!! The feeling was like...OMG!!! Reaching home is not safe anyway. Researching job was assign to me, which I must present it the next day. Walao....I don't even have time to sit down and have a proper dinner. ...was a terrible holiday :( Next time, I must be fast enough to escape from this by entering Orientation Committee that take away 2 weeks of holiday, then I'm FREE! After graduate from MMU, find a rich husband, then I will escape from WORK!!! wahahaha! Only left 2 years for me to find it, the percentage is decreasing year by year. God bless me!! hehe!


Now, I'm upgrading myself to be a delta year student. Wow...I really feel the standard of being a.... shhh...I'm not qualified to say so. :) haih... Stress in class, don't have time to copy the notes, don't understand the lectures, don't concentrate in class....don't this and that! Everything la @_@ I blur!! Its just the second week, and I had been screwed up by a lecturer. :( ...bad feeling...


Stop here. If not, bad stuff will be coming after me..because I did not prepare for Monday presentation yet +_+ Will be question later :(