The Bond

Not sure when it come back to me! I'm feeling it very strong and keep lacking on my side. Having recall the previous relationship, there are always loss have I done. No way anything will cure. 

For months, I been going up and down with him. Blame him, he is the only one who be able and willingly contribute his time for the seek of me. Had a dead heart, I ignore whatever he did to me. I understand he was stress up, that's make him loss control. There are pity-ness in my eyes but I can't do anything to help him out. Only way was to stay by his side and make sure he is safe.

Time keep running, finally Shudan examination passed! For a sudden, I loss all the time we been together, at least for the weekends. Although few months we had hectic time, we enjoy the trip and have some talk. ....quite fun! 

After then, I have all my words in the bottom of my heart out. Tears does not make things change anyhow!   I'm pretty sure, it is not possible anymore. But why I'm still thinking?! I have to take this off!!! 

Then, I started to look back of wanting a new relationship. Notice there was no one in the queue list. Did I reject all already?! Have no idea....

There is only way to cure, "WORK"! might not be a great idea, but most suitable one I guest.... 

Bye 2011

The year 2011 is a precious year for me. *tears flooding*
I miss my friends, Choon Hong, XianCi, Hooi Nee, Darian, etc. They are the one who never leave me alone, forever ready for me. I wish them all the best now and future!
I miss celebrating New Year with Choon Hong and Hooi Nee, would want to turn around in your arms again =)
I did went back to malacca, it was so different already. B-03-09 no longer occupied by MMU students and I couldn't get in anymore. I miss all crazy gang there too....Mi fern, Ching Yee, Hui Lee, Felicia, Ching Hui, Ying Ing, Shu Yi, Chew Hui, Ying Ying, Boon Shan and Shue En. How are you all?
I can't forget my aikido gang too, they are as naughty as me....haha! Anyway, I will meet them every year during the national Seminar. This year will be march....very soon! =)

My career path start running this year together with my loan repayment =(
There are joys too!!

I achieved my dream, called to the Malaysian Bar as an Advocate and Solicitors in the chambers of Daphne Choy. There are times that I got screwed very badly because of my "foolish" mistake and also times smile ended on my face. Boss, senior and colleagues treated me well....I don't want to leave such a heaven. But, I have an expired date! Hope that I'm a coka-cola bottle if that the case...hehe!
Half of my happiness in 2011, I miss it seriously although I got all the scolding! =)

....very soon, I got another job and my practicing certificate! Although that was not my dream job, all the non-sense happen in the firm will make me different. Several times, I would like to just throw a resignation letter to my boss and say "I QUIT". Lucky that I held back and continue the "Hell" legal journey. I learned not only the law, human personality and buildup confident upon doing the job. Honestly, it's very tiring! Work non-stop during weekdays and weekends and with my short legs I have, I have to walk like I'm running....phew! Banking files was not thin though.....

I appreciate friends and life incident happen and come along my path this year. Some are lucky, some are super A.H.E.M AH.E.M till the max! All this happen with happy story at the back....Thank You so much...muackzz!! HAPPY NEW YEAR!! =)

Political Game

What a surprise?
She is neither a friend nor a closer colleague.
I ask myself, Did I over react?
I don't feel it to be. Somehow, I still treat her like a friend,
I though that age would be material compare with those seniors in the firm.
Guess...I'm wrong! She is damn dangerous man!
Lucky that the game start off small. I could keep some precaution before it expend.


Because of that, it boost my spirit of getting more and more!
That's not a bad thing!....instead good!!
I got my energy alive, doing things full of passions.
It seems like I'm going all out on my career and getting me far.
I always believe "If there is no challenge, there is no result". *wink wink*
Don't play play, I'm gonna over take you very soon :)

Happieee! Let's move on with dreams~

Mind Bearer

I would like to scream!

There are times that along the beach path, tears flooding!

I tried very hard! result shows "FAIL".

It's very difficult to overcame pressure.

Everyone was telling me, I can do it.

I didn't doubt my ability and try once and twice.

.....for months, I still couldn't see what I could get.

I feel I'm wasting my time and energy doing useless staff.

I need money, that's why I'm doing so much thing.

I just using my hand to earn it.

I don't care what my parent, friends and relative say about it.

Determination be me that far!

It created my dream and I'm quite daring I would say.

Not only that, it must be even faster than what I plan!

My battery is low, heart is bleeding oledi :(

Can someone tell me what to do?!

Written story

The memories forever in my brain, I can't delete it.

The feeling follow me in the bottom of my heart, I keep it preciously.

The pain hunting me in and out, I can't leave it aside.

I'm very brave already!!

I stand up with my own legs and hands.

No one help me, no one did I cry to.

Happy that he sms-ed me. There was no hope or dream bordering me at that moment as I was enjoying myself in KL....had a super awesome trip! Thanks to the organizer, Pokok.

The moment he text me on the cancellation, a little disappointment deep in the heart. But, what to do? Work keep me focus and no where did I fall for. Finished up and went home, lovely saturday =) I like it!

A surprise pop up. God fix the appointment for me again! Finally, we met! I went with confident, no 1 could have did it as well as me. Leaving the kopitiam chair, I though it was done. But, he....rub-ed my hair for a second! What the hell!! Everything came on to my eyes. I don't know how to react. Serious man! I loss my conscious that it stopped me a minute.

Shit....! My whole day was gone, I could not stay focus on the newspaper, aikido class and workpapers.

Just a second could make me blank! Who do you think you are??! allow me to give him a punch...

HELP! I need some concentration on my work. Office table is pilling up with files on a monday. I have to get things done by tomorrow. God please release me! I want to be alone and stay away from him. He is nothing in my life or in my programme. Everything shall be dropped before 8am tomorrow! Add oill....~~~

Bleeding heart

I'm having a difficult time.

At work...

At home...

Even outing activities!

Everyone is trying to control me.

What is going on with me or maybe are they too free?

The person I hate the most is trying to control me.....just feel like slapping him!

I don't mind people back-step me but why don't the leader tell me directly?

Why he has to make you a middle man and forward all the messages?

Question marks wondering around me for the whole day......was irritating :(

I join it for self-rising purposes.

If you are making me out of my mode, then I have to take a way out!

I'm so sorry that I couldn't tolerate you anymore!

No Direction

Time has came that all my weaknesses cannot be curtain off.

I got a long tutorial from my boss this morning which awake me.

I definitely know myself well.

He is forcing me to face it all by myself!!!

He got the words INTO my body....

At the moment I return to my room,

my flooding tears drop!

A moment.....

I doubt my ability,

I have dreams to achieve and I must go on.

But...how?

Now how?

I need a direction please!!