Bye 2011

The year 2011 is a precious year for me. *tears flooding*
I miss my friends, Choon Hong, XianCi, Hooi Nee, Darian, etc. They are the one who never leave me alone, forever ready for me. I wish them all the best now and future!
I miss celebrating New Year with Choon Hong and Hooi Nee, would want to turn around in your arms again =)
I did went back to malacca, it was so different already. B-03-09 no longer occupied by MMU students and I couldn't get in anymore. I miss all crazy gang there too....Mi fern, Ching Yee, Hui Lee, Felicia, Ching Hui, Ying Ing, Shu Yi, Chew Hui, Ying Ying, Boon Shan and Shue En. How are you all?
I can't forget my aikido gang too, they are as naughty as me....haha! Anyway, I will meet them every year during the national Seminar. This year will be march....very soon! =)

My career path start running this year together with my loan repayment =(
There are joys too!!

I achieved my dream, called to the Malaysian Bar as an Advocate and Solicitors in the chambers of Daphne Choy. There are times that I got screwed very badly because of my "foolish" mistake and also times smile ended on my face. Boss, senior and colleagues treated me well....I don't want to leave such a heaven. But, I have an expired date! Hope that I'm a coka-cola bottle if that the case...hehe!
Half of my happiness in 2011, I miss it seriously although I got all the scolding! =)

....very soon, I got another job and my practicing certificate! Although that was not my dream job, all the non-sense happen in the firm will make me different. Several times, I would like to just throw a resignation letter to my boss and say "I QUIT". Lucky that I held back and continue the "Hell" legal journey. I learned not only the law, human personality and buildup confident upon doing the job. Honestly, it's very tiring! Work non-stop during weekdays and weekends and with my short legs I have, I have to walk like I'm running....phew! Banking files was not thin though.....

I appreciate friends and life incident happen and come along my path this year. Some are lucky, some are super A.H.E.M AH.E.M till the max! All this happen with happy story at the back....Thank You so much...muackzz!! HAPPY NEW YEAR!! =)

Political Game

What a surprise?
She is neither a friend nor a closer colleague.
I ask myself, Did I over react?
I don't feel it to be. Somehow, I still treat her like a friend,
I though that age would be material compare with those seniors in the firm.
Guess...I'm wrong! She is damn dangerous man!
Lucky that the game start off small. I could keep some precaution before it expend.


Because of that, it boost my spirit of getting more and more!
That's not a bad thing!....instead good!!
I got my energy alive, doing things full of passions.
It seems like I'm going all out on my career and getting me far.
I always believe "If there is no challenge, there is no result". *wink wink*
Don't play play, I'm gonna over take you very soon :)

Happieee! Let's move on with dreams~

Mind Bearer

I would like to scream!

There are times that along the beach path, tears flooding!

I tried very hard! result shows "FAIL".

It's very difficult to overcame pressure.

Everyone was telling me, I can do it.

I didn't doubt my ability and try once and twice.

.....for months, I still couldn't see what I could get.

I feel I'm wasting my time and energy doing useless staff.

I need money, that's why I'm doing so much thing.

I just using my hand to earn it.

I don't care what my parent, friends and relative say about it.

Determination be me that far!

It created my dream and I'm quite daring I would say.

Not only that, it must be even faster than what I plan!

My battery is low, heart is bleeding oledi :(

Can someone tell me what to do?!

Written story

The memories forever in my brain, I can't delete it.

The feeling follow me in the bottom of my heart, I keep it preciously.

The pain hunting me in and out, I can't leave it aside.

I'm very brave already!!

I stand up with my own legs and hands.

No one help me, no one did I cry to.

Happy that he sms-ed me. There was no hope or dream bordering me at that moment as I was enjoying myself in KL....had a super awesome trip! Thanks to the organizer, Pokok.

The moment he text me on the cancellation, a little disappointment deep in the heart. But, what to do? Work keep me focus and no where did I fall for. Finished up and went home, lovely saturday =) I like it!

A surprise pop up. God fix the appointment for me again! Finally, we met! I went with confident, no 1 could have did it as well as me. Leaving the kopitiam chair, I though it was done. But, he....rub-ed my hair for a second! What the hell!! Everything came on to my eyes. I don't know how to react. Serious man! I loss my conscious that it stopped me a minute.

Shit....! My whole day was gone, I could not stay focus on the newspaper, aikido class and workpapers.

Just a second could make me blank! Who do you think you are??! allow me to give him a punch...

HELP! I need some concentration on my work. Office table is pilling up with files on a monday. I have to get things done by tomorrow. God please release me! I want to be alone and stay away from him. He is nothing in my life or in my programme. Everything shall be dropped before 8am tomorrow! Add oill....~~~

Bleeding heart

I'm having a difficult time.

At work...

At home...

Even outing activities!

Everyone is trying to control me.

What is going on with me or maybe are they too free?

The person I hate the most is trying to control me.....just feel like slapping him!

I don't mind people back-step me but why don't the leader tell me directly?

Why he has to make you a middle man and forward all the messages?

Question marks wondering around me for the whole day......was irritating :(

I join it for self-rising purposes.

If you are making me out of my mode, then I have to take a way out!

I'm so sorry that I couldn't tolerate you anymore!

No Direction

Time has came that all my weaknesses cannot be curtain off.

I got a long tutorial from my boss this morning which awake me.

I definitely know myself well.

He is forcing me to face it all by myself!!!

He got the words INTO my body....

At the moment I return to my room,

my flooding tears drop!

A moment.....

I doubt my ability,

I have dreams to achieve and I must go on.

But...how?

Now how?

I need a direction please!!

Spelling the Secret

Not sure when it flies to me, but I'm controlling it very well. I should say" well done" to myself. I'm scared that one day I will loss control. Will I?

He is really very extremely treating me good. And, I'm pretty sure he is not my cup of tea. I shall be much more stronger and independent down the road. It is always my character to own 24 hours all by myself and I think I deserve 24 hours not lesser. May be some friends are leaving, may be my parents will leave me one day, may be I need a shoulder, a hand or a heart rubbish bin blah blah blah~ Just a feeling that is wrong! ...feeling like single is better, may have some emotional problem sometimes. Its always better than a bleeding heart.

A while ago, I send my sister to her boyfriend which I usually does.Looking back seeing them walk together....there goes the relationship. Mind playing the game again, such a foolish women I am.

I set my target and working very very hard to my dreams.

I will be strong. No one will kick me off the track.

Gambette Jia Lian!!!

White Dream

I'm facing it by myself.

I'm very brave and strong, I thought!

I honestly fall.

A night before my 1st day work, emo-ing start burning!

Start work day, got myself a big lump of dog shit under my shoe!

On the way back from work, my tyre flated!

Secondly, pandai pandai went to KL, misplace my things...

...lucky, someone keep it for me or not my purse will be gone!

Monday blue....friends book me for birthday this month :)

Don't know what they doing.....hope for something funny!

I wish to have a walking speaker not to be so clumsy, stupid and blur!

I always tell myself to work hard and go further but after I taken all the step, mistake will always came to me. A very sad scenario....

Someone help me :(

Doctor or Medicine?!

.....was caught with a terrible headache for 3 weeks!

Stop vomit, can bo?

I'm hungry :(

Even after consulting so many doctors, finally the specialist said

"Nothing in your brain, maybe your nerves to tense!"

What the hell?

I'm not with my master, I'm tension now?

God wasted my holiday man!!

I should not be on my bed at this kinda moment!!!

Maybe I miss the hug =_*!

I just need some energy to recover >.<

Can someone give me?! :D

Another option?

I had a bad week. ....feel like I'm living in my own world.

Hire in the room, talk less than 10 sentence a day.

I tried...very hard!

But it just useless!

I don't know what should I do man!!

There are too many things on my mind but there is no one that I could tell.

Even after telling, what will it be?

More confusing.....!!

I need a solution for it.

It's not any good to be a daughter, an employee or friend.

I want to get rid of all this.

I want to leave, let everything stay at it place.

Nothing can I change, only thing is ME.

I can change myself.

I'm not happy at all, in and out!

Need lots of help!! *crying*

Secret Occasion

The paper is gone!

A paper full of memories...

Staying up late at night searching for a crumble paper.

"STUPID" is a word to be used.

But...I just couldn't sleep without the paper lying on my bedside.

Two weeks of vocation, allowed me to lost myself.

I no longer could view it anymore :(

I don't believe...

Its not with me anymore!

I pray hard to get the paper back, dreams doesn't came true!

Please...please...please!! It not suppose to be like that!

Unknown Romance

Months ago, just a click....he hold me alive!

It was so secure lying on his big big shoulder...

The moment he rub my short brown hair, was lovely...

Deepest, he pluck me in, getting me so warm and comfortable!

...a feeling that never end!

Now, his shadow is gradually getting further and untouchable.

I no longer could feel his heartbeat which awake me, starting up my day with a smile.

I keep on looking and reading at those previous messages...to hold myself firm.

And...I know pretty sure that he is not here anymore longer.

A decision to leave was hard....but I will have to move on with life.

I will have to control my destination....to my dreams~

A word that I dislike the most "Goodbye". *tears flooding*

A straight road or a slanting road?

Chambering completed , it should be "HOORAY"!! .... its time to leave, to run on a better career track. I feel all the stress all around me. I'm not competent enough to be marketable, I know it myself! Anyhow, I need to learn how to swim without my master's guidance.

Finally, I stand the pressure until the end of the day! I'm super happy that I could leave the most sadness place (Penang) anytime I wish. As what I plan months before......

I then bravely applied jobs from varies place. Its all on the process and....guess what? I got all with good replies even with immediate interview. I suppose to be happy and looking forward for the interviews instead....I feel the pressure to be so grave! .....feel like something stuck on my throat.

Going to a dark jungle.....

No doubt that I take into consideration of my love one but I can't be leaving my footstep behind...right? One day or some how, the end may not be as what I expected or some obstacle fall on us. I did try my very best to keep this wonderful....I will have no regrets. Sound stupid uh? But i just miss him, miss him so much....

I need more bravery to go further, can anyone tell me where can I get this power? I'm not greedy, just a little, as little as a bite of kiss...

Just a hug, could let me run more than a mile....this is more grateful love are.....!!!

Run away Path!

Yesterday, a foolish morning!

Happen in front of a bunch of lawyers....

Happen in front of some friends....

Happen on me, be so stress out on my face!

Case was adjourned! That's good and its "FATE"!

...super terrible man!! "What the hell" keep poping out from my head!

Settled by just a second of telling the truth.....phew!

Luckieee! :) :) :)

A surprise location for dinner, open my mind!

A peaceful wind, sharp(en) my ears!

A cross over "melting" river, hold my heart!

Mr. Blogger, I really scare that I will lost control. I control myself very well not to fall in love but I might fail if it continues...... He was like a worm in my stomach or a cell in the brain that could easily detect me. Couldn't imagine, couldn't believe, just couldn't get this logic....! HOW CAN HE READS ME??!!

Honestly, the feeling was so comfortable. Pretty good, I mean it!

Now a days, he is driving me crazy :)

.....should there be a day?!

Dreaming so hard for it! *red chick*

My valentine

I got a very good gift from a person that I most respect. Although it is not tangible goods, the most sincere words that touched my heart. He give me almost all the motivation. Maybe its short and simple but very precise and so wise that I would feel "its so right". I thank him that I could make life goes on with wonderful colours now. It is really hard to walk alone, everyone knows! I will have to learn, I must be patient to get to that stage *tears dropping*.

Sad to say that 2011 valentine is the most lonely one! I just could not imagine myself sitting alone along the beach side staring at the beautiful Penang bridge :) There was so many memories pop-ing off my mind until the sky flash me off! But, the rain did not wash away all the sadness or memories :( I just feel like running away....instead running away from the rain, what a pitiful day! The most idiot thing of all is "I STILL HAVE TO BE HOME"!

Only at that moment I realized the life of mine is in a "big mess". There is no way to edit or undo. ...just been thinking where to hide and avoid! This is not who I am!! But it is the only way that I'm keep thinking.... Another 2 months to go and I will be done! I must be patient and cool to wait for God to do the needful for me, that is all I could wish!